Too little
Displacement: you make the messenger explain why they have spoiled the morning.
Receive bad news without making the messenger absorb your agitation.
Inner steadiness amid changing circumstances.
Equanimity gives unwelcome information room to arrive without making the messenger responsible for your agitation. Inner steadiness lets the changed situation receive sustained attention.
Try a practice
On the morning of a small event, a colleague tells you that the decorative arch will not fit through the hired van’s door. You feel the disappointment and ask what can be separated and what decision is needed from you. The arch’s splendid curved top waits nearby. It has met a rectangular argument. Your colleague has brought the news, not invented the dimensions.
Steadiness does not mean liking the news or concealing every feeling. You can acknowledge disappointment and still hear the account without turning it into an accusation. Equanimity helps the people working with you distinguish the practical problem from the task of managing your mood.
Information becomes easier to use when the person delivering it can finish. A steadier response can support a clear reassessment, though it does not guarantee that the original plan can be saved.
Displacement: you make the messenger explain why they have spoiled the morning.
Steady reception: you hear what changed, acknowledge the disappointment and identify the decision now needed.
Impassive performance: you insist that nothing matters and fail to respond to the practical problem.
Disappointment can remain present while the account is heard and the practical problem receives attention.
Hear the reason before deciding whether someone was careless.
Say that you are disappointed without making the speaker repair the feeling.
Self-Command checks an impulse that would harm. Equanimity concerns steadiness across the changing circumstance.
Prudence weighs the next course of action; Equanimity helps you remain available to that judgment after an unwelcome change.
Indifference is a counterfeit of Equanimity when appearing unaffected replaces caring about what happens. Steadiness remains responsive to the work and the people affected.
Recall a minor change that disappointed you. Write a response that acknowledges the change and asks one practical question without accusing its messenger. No renewed contact is required.
These pages offer ideas for reflection and character practice, not professional advice. Choose practices suited to your circumstances and abilities. You may adapt, pause, or skip an exercise; putting yourself or someone else at risk is not proof of virtue.
About these practicesSeven selections to return to through the week. Follow a source link to read the surrounding passage.
It is an assured sign of a worthy and generous spirit, whom honor amends; for honor is, or should be, the place of virtue; and as in nature things move violently to their place, and calmly in their place, so virtue in ambition is violent, in authority settled and calm.
Francis Bacon, Essays
ESSAYS.; XI.—OF GREAT PLACE.129
Bacon contrasts the agitation of aspiring to office with steadiness in exercising it. Having the role should help settle attention on its work.
As long as they do not allow themselves to be transported to do any thing contrary to justice or humanity, they lose but little reputation, though the serenity of their countenance or the composure of their discourse and behaviour should be somewhat ruffled and disturbed.
Adam Smith, The Theory of Moral Sentiments
PART V. Of the Influence of Custom and Fashion upon the sentiments of moral approbation and disapprobation.; CHAP. II. Of the influence of custom and fashion upon moral sentiments.
Smith discusses differing social expectations of emotional expression. The useful distinction here is between a ruffled manner and harmful conduct; his hierarchy of “civilized” and “savage” societies is not adopted.
A man may think himself injured, may wish to avenge his wrongs, and then may be persuaded by some reason or other to give up his intention and calm down: I do not call that anger, it is an emotion of the mind which is under the control of reason.
Seneca, Minor Dialogues, Together with the Dialogue on Clemency
THE FOURTH BOOK OF THE DIALOGUES OF L. ANNAEUS SENECA, ADDRESSED TO NOVATUS. OF ANGER. Book II.; section III
Seneca distinguishes a first movement from the intention that follows. Unwelcome news can stir a feeling without deciding the response.
For how can riches, or fame, or power at court help us to ease of mind or a calm life, unless we enjoy them when present, but are not for ever pining after them when absent?
Plutarch, Morals: Ethical Essays
ON CONTENTEDNESS OF MIND.711; PLUTARCH SENDS GREETING TO PACCIUS.; section I
Plutarch questions a peace of mind dependent on rank and possessions. The leader needs a steadiness that can survive a plan’s disappointment.
For whereas there are many, as I have said before, who place the achievements of war above those of peace, so one may find many to whom adventurous, hot-headed counsels seem more brilliant and more impressive than calm and well-considered measures.
Marcus Tullius Cicero, De Officiis
BOOK I MORAL GOODNESS; section 82
Cicero compares brilliant-looking ventures with well-considered measures. The less dramatic response may give the changed situation better attention.
For nowhere either with more quiet or more freedom from trouble does a man retire than into his own soul, particularly when he has within him such thoughts that by looking into them he is immediately in perfect tranquillity; and I affirm that tranquillity is nothing else than the good ordering of the mind.
Marcus Aurelius, Thoughts of Marcus Aurelius
BOOK IV.; section 3
Marcus describes returning to thoughts that restore order to attention. Reflection gives the leader a way to reconsider the response taking shape.
and those who had failed to accompany him, by reason of any urgent circumstances, always found him the same.
Marcus Aurelius, Thoughts of Marcus Aurelius
BOOK I.; section 16
Marcus praises his adoptive father’s unchanged manner when friends could not attend him. Another person’s altered availability need not become an offense against one’s importance.
Choose this approved collection as an optional workbook program, or select individual virtues in My Virtues.